i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
