I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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