so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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