Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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