Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
