Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
