She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
