The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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