wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
