is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What a fucking waste of an outfit
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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