so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
