since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
