It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
