You really coming over, don't trick.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
