I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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