chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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