yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
third nipple confirmed
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
