Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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