During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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