Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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