You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
