I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
