handjob tips. give me some.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
