That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
