hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
