i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
