I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize