i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
