glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
