I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize