somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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