google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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