her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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