somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
