I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
