Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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