The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
