I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
do herpes really smell.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize