I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
