dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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