Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
