I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
