We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize