Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
