i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My life is pants optional.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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