so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
