Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
