At least make sure they are 18
Why
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
