by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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