he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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