did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
