Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
