doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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