There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize