Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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