dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
