Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I need water and some morals
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
