Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
