im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Vodka?
Forever.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
