His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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