Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
We smell like vodka and hangover
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
