So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
