Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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